Usually when I hear that topic at church (Sunday school) I want to head for the hills. This last Sunday, part of our Sunday was devoted to just this topic. But I have to say, I am glad I did not run. There is no better topic to help refocus your life as a single parent than this one.
I often get asked, “how do you do it all”. Well, aside from the massive lack of sleep I have in my life, the real answer is that I DON’T. Not by a long shot. I do my best… but I fall very short of reaching the status of doing it all. I am very blessed to have such fantastic kids who are so wonderful in so many ways. But as my little divas are getting older it becomes more and more evident that being a single mom is not the ideal scenario. [not that I ever really thought it was except for my pink wall that no self respecting man would allow in the family room]
As we discussed the tips and reminders of being a good husband, wife, and partner in marriage. It really made me think. It made me think and come face to face with what it is that really separates me from those with good spouses. The funny thing is, its not what most people would think. Its not the money, or day to work of running a home. It is the support that comes from someone asking how your day was. The feeling that SOMEONE cares about how things are, how you feel, what you did, your accomplishments, your failings, your insecurities, your stress. Of course in these economic times I would be remiss if I wasn’t stressed over money. Who isn’t? But money, house work, career issues… those are all just issues that need a solutions. They are not matters of the heart. (at least in my opinion they are not) As the RS President asked the men to describe ways to show love and support… I wanted to jump out of my seat. Who better to ask than a single mom! We after all know exactly what is missing from our days.
So to answer the question “How doI do it all”? The simplest answer is that I dont. My studio looks like a scene out of haorders, there is ALWAYS laundry that is behind and needs washing, folding, my baseboards are dusty, I should mop more often, I don’t get to spend as much time with my girls as I wish, my car needs fixing, and so on and so on.
But I love my family I love them dearly.There is nothing I won’t do for them. I hold to my faith very tightly. I rely on my extended family, my friends, and anyone who reaches out a helping hand. And then… its just one foot in front of the other.
{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }
This is a very important topic and I’m glad you are taking the time and effort to discuss it and give your unique perspective!
I don’t think anyone can really do it all, without help and support. Married or single. With two adults working full-time and 2 kids, my house is still a constant mess, our “important papers” get filed about twice a year, there is always laundry to wash/ fold/put away, we manage to vacuum every 2-3 weeks. But a lot of the times we decide NOT to take care of any of that, just so we can enjoy our time together. I’m also thankful for my parents living nearby and the support group I have acquired throughout the year. They were very helpful when I was on my own back in August. ( http://mymiddleyears.blogspot.com/2010/08/it-takes-village.html) .
I love your insights into this topic. I am not a single mother, but most times I feel like I am! And church (which I won’t trade for anything) is sometimes difficult to be there without a spouse every week…. oh well, it is just “one foot in front of the other…”
sharon
what a great topic……thank u for being so open. i have been widowed for 4 years now and truly believe that we are being taught the lesson of understanding the importance of family….however it looks appreciate it and nurture it!!
angie
san diego