These days I get a lot of comments and questions that basically ask – how’d you do it? How did I lose so much weight and get so much more fit? More important than that question are the many people who have expressed that they were inspired some way by my journey to bring sexy back. Since I am about to embark on the next chapter to that journey (I’ll explain later) I thought I should start at the beginning. I kept a personal journal of my journey. I wasn’t brave enough to share it then – but I will now. And going forward.

Every year for as long as I can remember,  “Lose Weight and Get Fit” has been on my new years resolution list. Some years – that meant going from a size 4 to a leaner size 4. But this last year that wasn’t the case. Life, loss, depression, kicking drugs, and not loving myself lead to major weight gain. Last year, I decided enough was enough and my quest to bring sexy back started.

I lost a bit of weight in the early summer. It was simple, I changed my diet to a much healthier low sugar and healthy carb, well rounded diet. I lost about 30 lbs doing that. Went to my 20th HS reunion and felt pretty good. But I was still FAT (dont be afraid of that word people. I am not. It was a fact, I was still a fatty) But worse, I was so supremely unhealthy. Walking up my stairs winded me. I couldn’t run to get the front row seats at a concert. I was showing signs of pre-diabetes. So something had to change.

Enter – LYCEUM and at the time my trainer JJ.

I met him at an open house. I proceeded to tell him how I just can’t seem to stick with a fitness program but that I knew I needed to. He promised me there and then, that if I would just try it and stick with it, I could and would change my body. Since he was hot, I agreed. YES. This was my starting motivation… if was going to fail at another attempt at getting fit and hot it might as well be in the company of someone so good looking. Here is an entry from my diary that will give you some insight to my first day.

Training Day 1. – WHAT the hell was I thinking. This has got to be some sort of mistake. YES JJ is a hot trainer but all trainers are kind of hot by default and now I can’t walk. I puked twice during our training. I am humiliated and  honesty. I think I want to die.  I am never going back. That sucked.

Training Day 2 – I went back. I went to a class. I could not walk yesterday and supposedly going back will help. It didn’t. I didn’t puke this time but I wanted to die. I know in my head that no one really cares… but not being able to do even one rep of more than half the class seems like a waste. I really think that I just need to start loving myself as I am cause this is not working.

My first month pretty much was the same thing. Day after day of not being able to do much. I signed up for a 6 week program that included personal training. THIS was the secret sauce for me. I got to know all the trainers including my current trainer Trish. The most bad ass chick you have ever met. These six weeks were tough. In the studio 5-6 days a week sometimes twice in a day. I followed a strict but sensible diet. I was far from perfect during this time. I committed to the self that was hiding inside of my fat-self that I would let her out. I didn’t give myself a choice. I also had accountability of the best kind. Trainers who measured, weighed, and tested me each week. So there was no “denial”. I was either doing it or I wasn’t. My trainers cheered me on. They would Facebook me motivation.. harass me when I would think of skipping, and send love and best wishes when I got sick. Life happens and it has never been about punishment – this was about regaining me. The awesome me.

Fast forward to today. 4 month of training… lots of burgers, lots of days that I had to work 16 hours and didn’t make it in the gym, but lots more days of going in and kicking trash and eating sensibly. And I will NEVER GO BACK. I will never go back to the me I hated. The me that was on the verge of an unhealthy life. I love who I am, and who I can continue to become. This is not a race. It’s a journey one that will be life long. And I am so happy for it.


In 3 months I lost

  • 40lbs
  • 10% Body fat
  • 10 dress sizes

In 3 months I gained (actually a more accurate statement was I found inside myself)

  • love for who I am. I realized I am a pretty bad ass chick.
  • confidence – I am still a work in progress. In fact I have new goals that will take me right into bikini season.
  • health – I am no longer pre-diabetic with all my blood work came back clean including my sugar and cholesterol.
  • strength – this I gained. I can now do everything in class. Not perfect mind you. Many times I can only do a few reps. But there are things I can totally do now that I couldn’t even dream of!!! And I can feel myself get stronger and stronger. Trish continues to push me – never letting me off the hook. I now know my mind gives up long before my body does.
  • bringing sexy back – it never left! There was a sexy little creature inside this whole time. I just had to let her back out.

Thats it. There is no magic pill or magic plan. It’s about work, commitment, and wanting it bad enough. For me the secret sauce is my trainers. Right now Trish is my personal trainer coach. It’s more than just the time we’re working and she’s kicking my ass into shape. But the cheering from the sideline of life that really has made all the world of difference. I am so lucky to work out at a place where ALL the trainers are my cheerleaders rooting me on. Even my first Trainer JJ who is no longer at my studio still roots me on. Even more motivating is everyone who has messaged me saying I have some how motivated them –  that is what keeps me going. Life is hard. Sometimes life sucks… but we can get through it. And we are worth it. I am worth it. I love my trainers. They literally CHANGED MY LIFE. And Trish – this next chapter is going to be only better.

More to come. I hope you will join me on this ride.

An important THANK YOU.  I have to seriously thank my trainers. Really they are more like coaches, motivators, friends, and yes – kick ass trainers. But each of these people have CHANGED MY LIFE. They have given me my life back and without them I could have never accomplished what I did. And with them – I know can reach my next set of bringing back sexy goals. JJ – you were there from the start and got me going. Those first few months were tough, and every time I didn’t think I could do it – you cheered me on till I believed in myself. Jesse and Trish – you are my lifeline to this day.  I am excited about this next chapter… thank you for believing in me, cheering me on, and kicking my ass. You never let me slack or give anything less than everything I have. THANK YOU. You truly changed a life.