It was the first week of April 2013. I had just signed up for yet another online dating site. At the time I was happy. Going on lots of first dates and not really looking for much more. I wanted love and felt open to it, but had resigned myself to the fact that it was likely not in the cards for me at this point in life. Flipping through profile after profile I remember finding Matthew. His profile was full of wit and humour. However he’s five years younger than me. So didnt reach out.
Later that evening I got an email. It was Matthew. I am glad he decided to reach out since I never would have. (he later told me that he was getting annoyed at ladies checking out his profile over and over again and not saying anything. So he really just wanted to know what was up) We chatted every evening and then he asked me for a date.
At the time I was a dating machine. I already had four other dates lined up for the weekend. So Matt’s date went on Friday night. That first date was simply magical.
Something that may sounds crazy, in fact it sounds crazy to me, is that I knew that Matt was the one the moment that I met him. There was a connection between us from the start. When we met, it was like finding a lost love. It never felt like meeting someone new. Needless to say, I cancelled my other four dates and ended up seeing Matt again the next evening and Sunday afternoon. It was that Sunday we mutually decided to take a plunge. We didn’t know where things were going to end up, but we took ourselves “off the market” and changed our Facebook statuses to in a relationship. (I realize that sounds like childish dribble in some ways, but for me, a person who makes a living online this was actually a pretty big deal. it was after all the first time I had changed my status ever)
Spending time together is easy for Matthew and I. We genuinely love spending time together. We laugh like best friends do, debate about everything from politics to reality tv, and usually can’t keep our hands off each other like a couple of teenagers. But Matt and I have had our fair share of trials.
I admit, most of them were issues that I created or brought up. Shortly after we started dating I had some major life issues that lead to a major financial crises. At the time, not one would have expected Matt to step up to the plate the way he did. And to this day I still find out about ways that Matt has helped me out over the past months. Ways that are huge and I didn’t even know about. Things he just did because he loved me and showed it by quietly “doing”. Something that many people don’t know, is just the depths of love and patience that Matthew has shown. He shows he loves me by his actions. He shows his commitment in the quiet things he does. The sacrifices he makes, how hard he works and how freely he gives. Never asking for a thank you and always striving to do and give even more. He doesn’t do anything for show or recognition. He just does.
Learning through Love
Along with the theme of patience, Matt has patiently helped me learn lots of little lessons along the way. I have learned to trust him completely. There is nothing that I would not trust this man with. He is a good, reliable, honest, and true loving man. He has taught me about forgiveness. He has taught me about chasing my dreams and living life to the fullest, soaking in all the good that life has to offer. He has taught me to love myself, and loves me even on those days that I am far from lovable or those days that I just don’t love myself. He has chipped away at the wall I built around my heart. And now I am a big squishy softie with a heart full of love and light.
Matt has stepped up to the plate as a father to my girls. I can see how he cares about them as his very own. He is protective of them, worries about them and has a genuine concern for their happiness. (not to mention their day to day dramas being teen age girls) And it warms my heart to see my girls growing closer and closer to their step “dude” as they endearingly put it.
He Liked It
If you would have told me a year ago that I was getting married, I would have laughed at you. Now, here I am. Getting married to the love of my life and my very best friend. I have never appreciated what that meant until now. Matt has a secret sweetness.. one that he doesn’t show very readily. But one that I see quite a bit. He rights me poetry, he knows when to give me a squeeze, he doesn’t complain when I want to drape myself over him watching hulu reruns for hours on end, and is an old fashioned door opening chivalrous kind of guy. He asked me to marry him in the most wonderful way you could ask an online girl to marry you… with my very own website. You can check that out here.
Laughter, Light, and Love
I have to take a moment to thank an old friend who came to visit not long before I met Matthew. We had a great debate about dating and love and intimacy. At the time, kept my relationships pretty neat and tidy. I was very willing to sacrifice closeness to stay completely in control. I am glad I took the leap when I did. Looking back I now know that all roads have lead to the moment in time. The lessons I have learned, the good and the bad have all helped to shape my heart for this time in my life. Yes my friend you were right.. the mess is totally worth it.
We have made it through hell and back and come out of it stronger and I feel have become closer than ever. We are truly, partners in all things these days. Sure life will always present challenges, but knowing that I have Matthew at my side, there is nothing that I feel we can’t do… as long as we do it together! Matt continues to work crazy hard. And with the little free time he has in between, he spends time with my girls and with me. Luckily, these days its all about love and our upcoming trip to paradise. We are both excited to get away. (And if anyone deserves a vacation it is my Matthew.) And knowing us, we will find ourselves in many fun and memorable (mis)adventures along the way.
What the Future Holds
There are a lot of life changes coming up for Matt and I. Moving in together as a family, work changes, and hopefully adding to our brood. In fact we are not 100% sure what the future holds for us. What we do know, is we will likely be lots of good food, boisterous laughter, and lots of love along the way.
This is my happily ever after…